Dancin' ... Yeah! (think BeeGee's)

It's a great day to get some lungs! 

So, this is where we are:   So far everything looks good, but they are proceeding cautiously.  They are checking EVERYTHING to make certain that any discrepancy between the tissues will not cause any complications.  They have not gone to get the lungs from the donor yet, so it is gonna be a long day.  

In the waiting time, pray with us...

... for everything to continue to look good so that the transplant will go forward.

... for nerves to be calm and at peace, Tammy's and the rest of us!

... for God's presence to guide all who are involved so they will rely on His wisdom which is so far beyond our understanding.

... for His glory again to be made known.

... for Him to bless Tammy with healing.

... for the family of the donor, that they will have peace, that they will know the gift they are giving is not one that we take for granted, that the God of all comfort will minister to them in their grief. 

I am so excited that I can hardly sit still, so I apologize for the choppiness of my words.  But I do have to acknowledge one more thing before I go.

Chief Brown, you said that you were ready for me to start writing on the blog again.  I guess when Chief Brown wants something even the transplant office has to listen!  Love it!  

Keep checking today.  As we get info, I will be updating!

Stating the obvious

When things began to settle down, it has been difficult to stay on track on this blog.  Not because God was not working, but because so much of what He has been doing in our lives has not been related to the original purpose of this blog.  I felt incredibly odd using a blog, created to keep you up to date with Tammy, to share the things He was teaching me every day.  So, I haven't written in ages. 


I will not bore you, nor overload you, with all that God has been doing, the trials my family has been through, nor with the victories we have experienced since my last post.  But I wanted you to know that I am going to hold off on posting here until Tammy gets her new "breathing equipment."  


Please pray that the time will come soon!  The heat is harsh, and her lungs are tired.  Join with me in prayer, storm heaven with requests for her to receive her transplant soon.  Tomorrow would be great.  Hmmm...even the next few minutes.  Renew your efforts to pray for her.  The crisis has passed, praise God.  But we are really only a cold or small virus away from another one.  Now that she is home, I want her to stay out of the hospital until the call comes.


I may also be creating a new blog in the coming days.  I will be posting info on FaceBook when I do.  I mention that only because so many of you were so encouraging to me, not just in your support through prayer for Tammy, but in encouraging me to move forward with writing and speaking.  It was such a confirmation of the direction I felt God was leading me, but that I didn't dare dream He could use me in such a way.  So if you are interested, look me up on FaceBook.


But hopefully, God, in all of His goodness, will provide lungs soon so that I can be back here with you soon...please, Jesus, really soon.

How many of you ate too much yesterday?

Tammy may shoot me for sharing, but I think she may have ate one too many bites of watermelon! With her stomach not working like it is supposed to, sometimes one bite can push things over the edge, and today she looks a little miserable. I can't say exactly how she is feeling because she is still sleeping! Pray that when she wakes she will feel better and that by tomorrow she will be back to normal.

Isn't it funny that when we celebrate we tend to push limits? I haven't quite figured out why we believe that on "this" day our stomachs will be bigger, there are no calories in food, there is no end to our energy, and even when the day ends, there is still the night! Aren't we funny creatures? We tend to do the same in crisis, but instead of excess, we go into deprivation. No time for food, don't need to sleep, can't be bothered to plan, will this day never end?

Do we forget ourselves so easily? Or are we just so controlled by circumstances that we are oblivious to the reality of who and what we are?

If you are one of these people, ask yourself, pray to God and ask Him to show you, what your reasons are. I am realizing as I am typing that this goes way deeper than just holidays, and in some ways that affect my patterns for living. Some patterns that need to be broken, crushed, and left behind. Pray for me and I will pray for you as well.

And, let's all pray that Tammy's lungs come soon.

Great Sunday at Tammy's Home Church

Tammy has been coming to church with us the last few weeks, but this weekend we decided to visit her home church, which is also the only church I have ever attended other than the one that we go to now. It was a glorious day to see people rejoice over seeing our girl. You see, it is this family of believers where Danny, Tammy, and I all began our spiritual walks with the Lord. This is the family that put up with us through our teenage years, lavishing their love and wisdom upon us. It is the place Danny and I met, married, dedicated our children, and where our children both were baptized. It is the place where I first learned that God wanted a relationship with me, not just wanted to save me so I could know Him in heaven.

These people are the one's who answered the call to prayer, coming to join us at the hospital when we lifted Tammy before the Lord. They answered my heart's prayer, the one that I wouldn't verbalize for fear that I would be wanting something for me, not because God intended it. They have modeled Christ before us for years and many seeds of faith in our life were sown by these faithful followers of the Lord. It is through the power of God in the lives of the prayer warriors of this church that God used to first prompt me to prayer. They are the ones who loved me in all the stupidity of my youth years. They are the ones who first entrusted me to lead and to teach. Many of those who know my soul, and know how far my soul has grown, are there.

When I sat looking around the congregation, I couldn't help think of the giants who have gone to the Kingdom. Nor could I ignore that there are babies that I rocked that are now men and women of faith. Some of the teenagers I had the honor of teaching now have teens of their own. I found myself praying that the seeds that I planted in their lives bore more good fruit than bad. I pray God's word spoken was more powerful than my inadequacies or the things I taught that maybe I didn't really understand. Oh, Jesus, grow stronger and more powerful in each of them. Show them the power of grace in their lives. (Mainly so that if the seeds bore rotten fruit, that they will show grace to me. Just joking! But I am much more forgiving of myself because of my understanding of grace now.)

There is much to be said of such a place, but the best thing about today was that Tammy was able to be there with me, with those who love her and who celebrated a miracle today.

"Forgetting what is behind...

...and straining toward what is ahead."  Phillipians 3:13b   

As I was sitting here trying to think how to get things started today, God reminded me of this verse.  It is very much where we are in our journey through the season in which God has placed us.  Just like Paul surely did not forget the past, he chose to press forward, not allowing the past to limit him today.  

Can I be honest?  This is hard for me to do.  After going through so much stress, after watching Tammy get so sick, after watching her get worse and worse, after pouring my soul out to our Lord, after watching Him answer prayer after prayer... it is hard not to have my actions today determined by my struggles of yesterdays.  You see, it wasn't but a few months that I had to scratch her nose, move her legs, change the channel on the remote, and push the button to call the nurse. And each step toward improvement brought a new set of challenges for me to help her through.  But, here's the catch, with each improvement, I catch myself wanting to limit her a bit, not wanting her to push too hard, because I know where she has come from and don't want her to hurt herself.  It is a bit of the worried momma bird who knows her chicks have to jump outta the nest to learn how to fly.  But what if they can't?  My temptation is to say, "I don't think so." Yet, I have to let her try to fly.

And, honestly, she is doing really well.  There are still some things I have to help with, but, honestly, my main job is chauffeur and oxygen tank manager.  I still have to "spot" her going up the stairs, but it is really more of a "just-in-case-she-slips" thing instead of a "she-won't-make the-last-few-stairs-without-me" thing.  Oh, and I help change the bandages on her hand.  I almost forgot that one.  And I am learning, (oh, OK, trying) to let her try things on her own, easy or hard, letting her learn her own limitations, and only saying no when I absolutely have to or when I can tell she really needs me to say no so she can give herself permission to rest. 

Before I forget, Tammy has a wound care appointment for her fingers tomorrow around 10:30.  Pray for her during that time.  We are anticipating a painful appointment if last week was any indication.  

But my lesson from this verse goes far beyond Tammy.  Too often I allow my limitations in the past to stop me from achieving  or attempting to achieve things now.  Why do think we do this? If our God can wipe away our sins, can He not surpass our limitations?  I think that we have succumbed to a deception of the enemy.  The best way from keeping us from being fully obedient to God is to convince us that we are not able to be obedient because we are lacking in some area required to complete the task.  

For example, it is a mild statement to say that I have a hard time keeping things organized.  I can organize things really well, but it is the day in and day out maintaining that provides the challenge.  However, God has placed me in a situation with Tammy where I must maintain order over this indefinite period of time, and it is absolutely beyond me!  I actually haven't even gotten things organized in the beginning of her return home because of a plethora of reasons.  Yet, this is where He has me, and it is hard to not feel inadequate and to keep from berating myself because of my shortcomings.

Do any of you find yourself in this place between stepping into the task and being afraid because you did such a lousy job in a similar situation?  Or do you feel you have disqualified yourself because of past mistakes?  If so, consider where Tammy would be if she had focused on what she had been through instead of trying to push herself to get better? What if she had said, "No more answered prayers, God. I have been so sick, and I can't imagine not being sick, so I will just stay sick."  I urge you, let it go.  Press on.  Look forward.  More importantly, MOVE forward.

Hot time, summer in the city...

Can you believe how hot it is already! Tuesday was the hottest day of the year so far.  We stayed inside as much of the day as we could.  The heat can fatigues so quickly, even on healthy bodies, so imagine what it does to Tammy!

She is doing so much better since she has been home this time.  Your prayers for her digestion are working.  We aren't sure if she is putting on any weight, but she is not as nauseous as she was before. The steps are much easier, even though she is still camping out downstairs.  I think that once she regains some of her muscle tone and gets her nutrition back on track, she will be trapsing the stairs several times a day.  For now, not so much.  

Since she has become a woman of leisure, which drives her absolutely crazy, Tammy's options for activity are limited.  Due to all the sitting and laying, she has a sore hip.  We are going to the doctor on Thursday to have him check it out.  We are asuming it is because of the inactivity.  Pray that we are correct and that there is nothing going on within her joints that will complicate her rehabilitation.  She doesn't have pain when she walks or moves, only when sitting for a long period of time.  

I have been struggling with the infrequency of my posts to you guys, but I pray that you realize that no news is pretty much good news. 

The only news that would be great news would be, "We are going in for transplant!"  We are so ready for that day.  Tammy is ready to get back on her motorcycle and get back to work.  It is pretty safe to say, she is ready to get back to her life.  She has even tried to convince me that she could slip these "mondo huge" oxygen tanks of hers into her saddle bags so she could cruise down the road.  Can you imagine?  My response, "UM...no!"  And she keeps telling people this is what she is going to do.  I think she is hoping some idiot will say, "Great idea!  I'll come over Friday to get you set up." (Let the record show, if you are that idiot, good luck getting outta my driveway!) All I can see is an arial view from a traffic helecopter of a huge crater in I-35 and can hear the reporter spouting rumors of a suicide bomber plan going awry.  Again, I ask, can you imagine?

Dear friends at the EPD and EFD, Tammy misses you guys.  She is not looking forward to long-term disability because she would much rather be there with you.  Please know that if she could be there for her shift tomorrow, she would be.  We are hoping to be able to arrange a visit after her therapy sometime in the next few weeks, so get ready!

Where's Tammy?

This could easily be the question of the week!  Poor kid!  Tammy did come home from rehab May 27th, but then she was back in for 24 hour observation by June 4th.  Except 24 hours turned into 7 days!  So finally this past Monday she was actually able to come home!  

Right now, she is camping out downstairs.  She gets too tired going up the stairs still, so we have moved her into the living room.  Keeps her in the middle of the action, too!  But, all in all, we are adjusting, we just don't quite have a smooth routine down just yet!

The reason she had to go back in the hospital is because she was a bit dehydrated because she couldn't keep food down.  There is some stuff going on with her stomach so we need you prayer warriors once again to intercede for her.  Her stomach is not emptying quick enough so it is easy for her to get too much in her stomach which causes the nausea.  She needs her stomach to kick back in and do it's job so that she can get the nutrition and the meds into her body.  And, girls please don't be jealous, but because of all of this, the doctors want her to actually gain some weight!  Great news for her taste buds!  Hours of temptation for me!  Ah, well...

I am sure God is up there laughing at my lamenting!  Of all the things to be groaning about, in light of everything else. . . So, I will quit, and I will trust Him to give me the power to say no.  God, more than anyone else, knows that if there is any saying "no" to something yummy, it is not from my own power, that too is only Him.

Oh, and a praise above all praises!  OUR FLOORS ARE DONE!   We have a little finish work to do like tacking down the carpet and reattaching baseboards, but thanks to great friends, great family, a fabulous master "Tile Man" (actually more of an artist), the audacity and initiative of a crazy red-headed cousin, and the Southlake Home Depot, our water damage has been completely erased.  Woo-hoo!  I am so humbled by all of those who came and spent hours with us on our hands and knees trying to get things finished on the floors.  And then there were the amazing ladies that came an cleaned my bathrooms and painted and cleaned some more. God bless them beyond measure. So now, all I have to do is move all the furniture back in place and surface clean the dust and floors one more time.  It is such a blessing beyond words.  I am still struggling with being blessed too much, but I also understand that with great gifts much is often required.  We are so looking forward to a flood of visitors.  Remember, this is Tammy's home now too.  You are welcome anytime, just call to make sure we are here!  Doctor's visits and pharmacy runs can keep us hopping.  Plus, we are hoping to get out and about some as Tammy builds her stamina.

Pray for us that we can get a rhythm.  Pray that my daughter can find a job soon.  Pray for Tammy's tummy.  Pray for patience on all our parts.  Pray for lungs to come soon.