What a difference a week makes!

I think I have said that before, but last Sunday we were trying to figure out where we would be putting a bypap machine in our house. This week we are wondering if we can send these oxygen tanks back.  How cool would that be?

Tammy is doing really well.  She is responding when we talk to her and trying to communicate.  However her handwriting looks like scribble, her spelling when she tries to sign is, um, lacking, and trying to read someones lips with a tube the size of a garden hose (slight exaggeration, but not much) sticking out of it... Let's just say it is frustrating on both sides.  She absolutely knows what she wants to say, and we absolutely want to know what she wants to say, but there is absolutely no meeting of the minds.

The doctors are hoping to get her off of the ventilator tomorrow which would be great.  Then at least we could read her lips better.  Poor Kid.  Cydney, my daughter, said it would be a great graduation gift.  I absolutely agree.

We have been amazed by many things in the last year.  And as I am getting things ready for my daughters graduation party, I have been reminded of how short life really is.  If you have lived long enough to have anything to "look back"on, you know what I am talking about. Precious things.  Beautiful things. Fleeting things. Things like the belly laugh of a baby when something has really cracked them up.  Like the first time you roast a marshmallow... and it catches on fire.  First time you hit a baseball.  First time a child says to you, "I wub yew."  We remember each of those things.  But sometimes we forget the second time or the third time or the thirtieth time.  With each occurrence, something special becomes less special.  Why is that?  I think, for me it is because I let myself believe that the "special things" will always be a part of my life until MY life ends. I know it's selfish, but aren't we a little that way.  It's the saying, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone."

When I look at Tammy's life and the things she has had to say good-bye to, and when I remember that I almost had to say good-bye to her,  I am challenged to look around me at what is in my every day.  Every day I can hug my kids, kiss my hubby, love on my dog, call a friend on the phone, pray to my God. Every day I can communicate my likes, my dislikes, my hurts, my joys.  Every day I can celebrate that I have food to eat, dishes to wash, clothes to fold, floors to mop, and today, use my flyswatter to chase down all the little critters that keep buzzing against the windows.  Yeah, I am a little surprised by that last sentence, too.  But can you imagine your life without them?

Last week I would have said, "If I never had to wash clothes again, that would be OK with me." This week, I am working on being thankful, not just for the things I enjoy, but the every day, same ol' stuff.  Because this week, when Tammy got the call for this second transplant,  I learned the value of life beyond the "firsts."