Tammy is much the same as yesterday, but her pressure in her lungs is high today and sets off the alert every once in a while. Plus she is getting used to the sedation, so, they have raised the dosage of one of them again. But I mentioned yesterday that we were going to ask those of you who were willing to join us in for a specific time of prayer.
Tammy's family all are in agreement with me that God is fully able to do whatever He says He can do. We know He has healed before. He has healed broken bones in moments. I know because it happened to a friend. He has removed cancer instantly when the surgeons had done all they could do. I know because Beth Moore tells of a documented case of a friend of hers in her study Believing God.
In scripture, Jesus heals a man's whithered hand on the Sabbath. (Matthew 12, Mark 3, Luke 6) So asking Him to heal Tammy's fingers is not too big a task. We also know He was able to raise people from the dead. (Mt 9, Mk5, Lk 8, Lk 7, Jn 11) I don't know about you, but I cannot imagine lungs more difficult to restore than ones with no life in them. So, we know He can heal her lungs as well. Nevermind that He is the one who breathes all life into mankind, who rules all creation, who created the rules, and who can bend them for His purposes.
We are already at the point where the Doctors cannot take credit for her improvement. And you could credit Tammy's fight, but, guys, she fought hard for two weeks without any change. It is not our positive spirit. Nor is it the fact that she is loved by so many of you. That would be arrogant on our part, because there have been some phenominally lovely people who have had some sad and tragic endings in the last few weeks. There is no one, any where, who can accept the praise or credit other than God. We only have stories that tell of His goodness to share.
So tomorrow, when you go to church, ask your pastor if he would be willing to lift up Tammy by name during your congregational prayer time. And, at 3:30 (central time) tomorrow afternoon we will be praying according to the instructions in James 5. We want to ask you to join us as we move before the throne of God to petition Him to heal not only Tammy's lungs but also her hand. You can pray wherever you are. Pray alone or with someone. Pray for as long as you like, but pray believing He can, knowing that He is not obligated to grant our petition, and knowing that we can approach His throne with the confidence of being His children. I believe that as we lift our hearts and desires for Tammy before the throne, the Spirit of God that is in those who believe will unite our hearts and guide our prayers. There is one Spirit (Eph 1:18) through which we have access to the one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live (I Cor 18:6). It is He who gave her life, and it is He who will sustain it for His purposes in her.
We approach His throne not as petulant children, demanding His intervention, but as mature children, humbly asking for healing. We will not pout if He says no, but we will give all glory to Him, yes or no. It is a fine line to walk, to wait expectantly for Him to work, to believe He can, but to not command Him to heal her. To place our hope in Him for healing without telling Him what to do. To know we are asking Him to defy the laws of nature to heal her, and wondering, "So, who do I think I am to have the gall to ask the God of all creation to bend the laws of His creation?" But we know He loves us. We know James wrote for us to ask Him for healing. We know He is our Father and He has already lavished so much upon us. So, we ask, we hope, we pray believing.
Will you join us? If you can, and you feel comfortable, leave a comment and let us know if you will be praying with us at 3:30. However, if your prayer life is a private issue, we don't want you to violate your convictions. We would just be curious to know.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Next Step is a "Doosie"
The doctors met this morning and they are of the consensus that in order to get Tammy on the list, she has to be off the ventilator and she needs to be stronger. To get her off the vent, they would need to bring her out from under sedation, but as soon as she feels the sensation in her throat, she starts fighting the tubes. This causes her oxygen to drop, so they have to turn both the vent and the sedation back up. So, the doctors had to come up with another option. The next step they recommend is a tracheotomy.
Earlier I had told some of you that a trache could prevent her from getting back on the list, however, that is not the case. And, though I know Tammy would not want to have a tracheotomy forever, the doctors have assured me that if she does well, the trache can be allowed to close up. This is far from our favorite choice, but the docs believe this is her best bet to be able to get mobile and get stronger.
Here are the reasons the doctors have chosen this option. 1. She will not have the tubes in the throat any longer, so when they try to ween her off she will not have the choking sensations. 2. If she has problems and they have to put her back on the vent, all they have to do is hook the vent machine up to the trache instead of having to put a tube back in her throat. 3. It will be possible, if she needs extra assistance after working hard and she needs some help, they will be able to put her on the vent at night so she can rest. 4. It is the best chance she has to be able to get mobile and get the breathing assistance that she needs. 5. It will allow them to attempt to get her breathing on her own much sooner.
The doctors want to perform the procedure during the early part of next week. Since this is a big step, we want to illicit as many prayers as we can. We know that God has brought you back to this site again and again, not just because Tammy is special to you, but so that you would know how to pray. We have learned to pray for the specifics and God has answered over and over. So, since there have been numbers to aim for, here are two more. Pray for her volume in her lungs to increase, she is currently at 320 ml, which is a small amount. Pray for her pressure in her lungs to drop. She is hanging out at 43-47. 50 sets off alarms. I don't know what is normal for either of these things, but they are tangible numbers that we can see.
Also, check back tomorrow. We are wanting to coordinate a specific time for all of us to be praying at the same time, together, on her behalf. We will have more info on our plans for this tomorrow. Until then, pray for God to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything we can ask or imagine, and be confident you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Earlier I had told some of you that a trache could prevent her from getting back on the list, however, that is not the case. And, though I know Tammy would not want to have a tracheotomy forever, the doctors have assured me that if she does well, the trache can be allowed to close up. This is far from our favorite choice, but the docs believe this is her best bet to be able to get mobile and get stronger.
Here are the reasons the doctors have chosen this option. 1. She will not have the tubes in the throat any longer, so when they try to ween her off she will not have the choking sensations. 2. If she has problems and they have to put her back on the vent, all they have to do is hook the vent machine up to the trache instead of having to put a tube back in her throat. 3. It will be possible, if she needs extra assistance after working hard and she needs some help, they will be able to put her on the vent at night so she can rest. 4. It is the best chance she has to be able to get mobile and get the breathing assistance that she needs. 5. It will allow them to attempt to get her breathing on her own much sooner.
The doctors want to perform the procedure during the early part of next week. Since this is a big step, we want to illicit as many prayers as we can. We know that God has brought you back to this site again and again, not just because Tammy is special to you, but so that you would know how to pray. We have learned to pray for the specifics and God has answered over and over. So, since there have been numbers to aim for, here are two more. Pray for her volume in her lungs to increase, she is currently at 320 ml, which is a small amount. Pray for her pressure in her lungs to drop. She is hanging out at 43-47. 50 sets off alarms. I don't know what is normal for either of these things, but they are tangible numbers that we can see.
Also, check back tomorrow. We are wanting to coordinate a specific time for all of us to be praying at the same time, together, on her behalf. We will have more info on our plans for this tomorrow. Until then, pray for God to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything we can ask or imagine, and be confident you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sometimes appearances can be deceiving
She is looking better, but like I mentioned above ... what you see is not always what is. She has developed a few clots, one really large one in one of her arms, but they already have her on blood thinners, so they are doing all they can for them. Potential problems are obvious, but we are praying that they will not materialize. They are having a hard time trying to find a place where she can have a blood pressure cuff because they don't want to dislodge anything.
On Fridays, the transplant staff have their regular meetings, so we know that Tammy will be a topic of discussion. We are hoping they will give us an idea of what exactly they want of Tammy before they put her on the list. We know they want her off the vent and beginning to strengthen through rehab. But is rehab so that she can build up her major muscles and stand and sit, or is it walking around the ICU, or is it doing jumping jacks? It is obvious to us that the more strenuous the harder it will be for her lungs to make that possible. They are really stiff and cannot hold much air volume. We will know that the lungs are loosening when the volume of air in her lungs increase and the pressure inside her lungs can decrease at the same time. This by far is one of the tougher things to pray for, but not too big for God, right?
So...I would like to place my order for clot free extremidies without complications, for a clear picture, and for the lungs she has to "loosen up a bit." Listen up, we have prayed for Oxygen levels to stablize. They have. We have prayed for carbon dioxide levels to drop. They have. We have prayed for a blood disorder to go away (DIC). It is gone. We have prayed for PEEP to be adjusted down. It has been. We have prayed for a change in the vent settings from pressurized to volume control. It has been. We have prayed for rest, for peace, for comfort, for provision, for understanding, and He has provided. I know God is not a short order cook. I know He doesn't have to do anything because we ask. But also know that He allows us to ask, always to ask, leaving the result to Him. And pray with me, knowing that regardless of the answer to these new requests, our God is good, and He IS able, and He will do the best for her. Our job is to ask, to believe, and to trust.
On Fridays, the transplant staff have their regular meetings, so we know that Tammy will be a topic of discussion. We are hoping they will give us an idea of what exactly they want of Tammy before they put her on the list. We know they want her off the vent and beginning to strengthen through rehab. But is rehab so that she can build up her major muscles and stand and sit, or is it walking around the ICU, or is it doing jumping jacks? It is obvious to us that the more strenuous the harder it will be for her lungs to make that possible. They are really stiff and cannot hold much air volume. We will know that the lungs are loosening when the volume of air in her lungs increase and the pressure inside her lungs can decrease at the same time. This by far is one of the tougher things to pray for, but not too big for God, right?
So...I would like to place my order for clot free extremidies without complications, for a clear picture, and for the lungs she has to "loosen up a bit." Listen up, we have prayed for Oxygen levels to stablize. They have. We have prayed for carbon dioxide levels to drop. They have. We have prayed for a blood disorder to go away (DIC). It is gone. We have prayed for PEEP to be adjusted down. It has been. We have prayed for a change in the vent settings from pressurized to volume control. It has been. We have prayed for rest, for peace, for comfort, for provision, for understanding, and He has provided. I know God is not a short order cook. I know He doesn't have to do anything because we ask. But also know that He allows us to ask, always to ask, leaving the result to Him. And pray with me, knowing that regardless of the answer to these new requests, our God is good, and He IS able, and He will do the best for her. Our job is to ask, to believe, and to trust.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
New Day Means New Numbers
Ok, so here's where we are. We have her vent right where is needs to be for now. She is doing really well, and she isn't on the pressurized setting. Now she is on a vent mode that is like what everyone else in ICU would be on, like the one she was on after her transplant. So, this is a great thing. Another great thing is that her white cell which had been elevated has dropped quite a bit. But now I have a new number.
Her carbon dioxide levels are pretty high. If they tried to take her off the vent, she would try to breathe too quickly, which would sabotage her O2 levels. The reason the CO2 level is too high is because her lungs are stiff right now. We are hoping that most of that is because all the other things she had going on caused her lungs to tighten up and now that things are better, they will become more elastic and expand easier. When that happens, the CO2 level will drop. So that is our next set of numbers.
The doctors cannot give us any sort of time table as to how quickly this could happen. They know that she has defied the odds to still be fighting, and we know that God has been in on that battle. Two weeks ago they weren't sure if anything they could do would make a difference, now they know they just have to wait to see what her lungs will do. Funny how that word WAIT has been with us since the beginning!
Her carbon dioxide levels are pretty high. If they tried to take her off the vent, she would try to breathe too quickly, which would sabotage her O2 levels. The reason the CO2 level is too high is because her lungs are stiff right now. We are hoping that most of that is because all the other things she had going on caused her lungs to tighten up and now that things are better, they will become more elastic and expand easier. When that happens, the CO2 level will drop. So that is our next set of numbers.
The doctors cannot give us any sort of time table as to how quickly this could happen. They know that she has defied the odds to still be fighting, and we know that God has been in on that battle. Two weeks ago they weren't sure if anything they could do would make a difference, now they know they just have to wait to see what her lungs will do. Funny how that word WAIT has been with us since the beginning!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Turn-around Tuesday
Three Tuesdays ago, Tammy was rushed to the hospital. That was a bad day. Two Tuesdays ago, she was intebated. That was a horrible day. Last Tuesday her oxygen output from the machine was lowered from 75% to 50%. That was a good day. Today? Today is a good day! She currently is on 40% oxygen output from the vent, and they lowered her PEEP to 5. Five is significant because that is the "usual" number they look for to begin trying to ween patients off! We are cautiously optimistic because we know that very little has been "usual" about anything that has happened. But again, I find myself celebrating God's goodness! She is keeping her 97% oxygen saturation!
I was reminded again today of how my impatience to see her better is not exactly the kind of waiting Psalm 27 talked about. I am thankful to Him that it is not how "good" I am that determines how good He is to me!
Sorry to those of you who check several times today. I had to work all day. By the time I got to the hospital, I couldn't get in to see her. THEN, when I sat down to type, the computer wouldn't connect to the internet. I felt a little like Charlie Brown. Anyway, I know that it is your love and concern for her that keep you coming back, and I apologise that my access to the blog is not always the most timely. Please, bear with me. Daniel has to work tomorrow, and I am not sure when I will be able to get to a computer. However, I will be @ the hospital for the next several days, so you can always call. I pray that you will rest well and that our good news today made you smile or do a little dance!
I was reminded again today of how my impatience to see her better is not exactly the kind of waiting Psalm 27 talked about. I am thankful to Him that it is not how "good" I am that determines how good He is to me!
Sorry to those of you who check several times today. I had to work all day. By the time I got to the hospital, I couldn't get in to see her. THEN, when I sat down to type, the computer wouldn't connect to the internet. I felt a little like Charlie Brown. Anyway, I know that it is your love and concern for her that keep you coming back, and I apologise that my access to the blog is not always the most timely. Please, bear with me. Daniel has to work tomorrow, and I am not sure when I will be able to get to a computer. However, I will be @ the hospital for the next several days, so you can always call. I pray that you will rest well and that our good news today made you smile or do a little dance!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Guys, I hate to say it, but today is much like yesterday. They have adjusted the PEEP to 8 and they have added a maxium PEEP number to the mix. The goal is to stay in the middle. I think they will expand the range as time goes on. She is resting more comfortably than before because they have added another sedative. She looks much more restful, and even when she takes what I call stutter breath, she doesn't seem to be agitated. For that I praise God, and I am praying that this will allow her to recover more quickly. They still have a few concerns about preventing infection and getting her off the ventilator, but she seems to be holding her own right now.
I know that two weeks ago, I shared with you Psalm 27:13-14 about being confident that I would see His goodness, whatever that entails, and also that we were told to wait, to not be afraid, and to be strong. We are still waiting. I am still confident. But this morning I was reading another Psalm that was especially poignant as I considered our fabulous girl. The words in italics are my thoughts as I read.
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
And You know Tammy way better than all of us put together.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You know that she is lying in ICU and only You know what is going on in her heart of hearts, beneath the medicated fog.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
You know her desire to constanly be on the go and to live life and not just live. You also know her intense dislike of being stuck in a bed.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
And You know what I will ask before I ask it, but I will ask anyway.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Your hand is on all of us who believe, and especially Tammy. My soul sighs in relief at this reminder that You, who created all that I can see and what I cannot see, care to protect me and hold me in your hand.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
No matter where Tammy is, no matter what she has to go through, Your powerful grip will not let go.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
And when I don't want to hide, but the darkness of doubt threatens to overwhelm me, You will see me. You will be with me. You will not leave me. And in the darkness of Tammy's sedation (but maybe it is glorious), You are there. She is not hidden, nor alone.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
You created Tammy wonderfully just as she is -vivacious, energetic, funny, determined, beautiful to her soul. Yet, You also created her body just as it is...fearfully and wonderfully made. And only You know what needs to happen within that body for it to heal. And only You know if it will.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
You knew I would be here typing today, as Tammy would be lying in ICU. You know our tomorrow, our next week, our next year, our last. Your word says "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." so it is with confidence that I say You will complete the good work You began in Tammy. You will complete it, I just pray I will understand and recognize its completion...even if it is 30 years from now.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
Well, with that verse comes the realization that even if you were to show me Your purpose, I am not sure I could understand or begin to fathom. So I am humbled that You share any of Your thoughts with us. Lord, help us to wait on understanding.
David begins to talk about the people that were out to destroy him, then he writes:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Lord, You know when I am being selfish, the times I pray out of my own needs and not out of the needs for Tammy. Test me, and keep me from worrying. I know that if I trust in You, if I believe You have Tammy in Your hands, I really do not need to worry. You created her, You love her deeper, wider, and purer than any of us can even begin to attempt. Nothing will get to her without Your protection over her. Nothing so dark You cannot see. I pray that the confidence I have in You will be shared in the hearts of those who are praying with me, with those who are reading this now. Keep us focused on Your best for her, regardless of our hope for her recovery. I trust in You. Amen
I know that two weeks ago, I shared with you Psalm 27:13-14 about being confident that I would see His goodness, whatever that entails, and also that we were told to wait, to not be afraid, and to be strong. We are still waiting. I am still confident. But this morning I was reading another Psalm that was especially poignant as I considered our fabulous girl. The words in italics are my thoughts as I read.
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
And You know Tammy way better than all of us put together.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You know that she is lying in ICU and only You know what is going on in her heart of hearts, beneath the medicated fog.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
You know her desire to constanly be on the go and to live life and not just live. You also know her intense dislike of being stuck in a bed.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
And You know what I will ask before I ask it, but I will ask anyway.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Your hand is on all of us who believe, and especially Tammy. My soul sighs in relief at this reminder that You, who created all that I can see and what I cannot see, care to protect me and hold me in your hand.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
No matter where Tammy is, no matter what she has to go through, Your powerful grip will not let go.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
And when I don't want to hide, but the darkness of doubt threatens to overwhelm me, You will see me. You will be with me. You will not leave me. And in the darkness of Tammy's sedation (but maybe it is glorious), You are there. She is not hidden, nor alone.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
You created Tammy wonderfully just as she is -vivacious, energetic, funny, determined, beautiful to her soul. Yet, You also created her body just as it is...fearfully and wonderfully made. And only You know what needs to happen within that body for it to heal. And only You know if it will.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
You knew I would be here typing today, as Tammy would be lying in ICU. You know our tomorrow, our next week, our next year, our last. Your word says "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." so it is with confidence that I say You will complete the good work You began in Tammy. You will complete it, I just pray I will understand and recognize its completion...even if it is 30 years from now.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
Well, with that verse comes the realization that even if you were to show me Your purpose, I am not sure I could understand or begin to fathom. So I am humbled that You share any of Your thoughts with us. Lord, help us to wait on understanding.
David begins to talk about the people that were out to destroy him, then he writes:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Lord, You know when I am being selfish, the times I pray out of my own needs and not out of the needs for Tammy. Test me, and keep me from worrying. I know that if I trust in You, if I believe You have Tammy in Your hands, I really do not need to worry. You created her, You love her deeper, wider, and purer than any of us can even begin to attempt. Nothing will get to her without Your protection over her. Nothing so dark You cannot see. I pray that the confidence I have in You will be shared in the hearts of those who are praying with me, with those who are reading this now. Keep us focused on Your best for her, regardless of our hope for her recovery. I trust in You. Amen
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sorry about yesterday
I wrote a post for yesterday, and thought I posted it, but it didn't go through. I don't even have a draft coming up on the computer, which is confusing because it autosaves every few minutes! I hope no one worried. I promise, you would have heard via another venue if something bad happened and I couldn't get to the blog.
Tammy's numbers on oxygen output are at 45% and her oxygen level is staying pretty high. They have lowered PEEP to 9. So, all in all, she is still improving with baby steps. We love that she is moving in the right direction, but it would still be best if she could get off the ventilator. That is the best bet for her getting strong enough for a transplant. Pray with us that that will happen...soon. I am still waiting on the Lord, but I know the easiest thing would be the soonest.
Pray for our doctors as well. I know that they are doing everything they can, and they have been really good at checking in with us every day. We know that there have to be times that they wish they could skip visiting family members, especially when the news is not so marvelous. Yet, day in and out they face the facts head on, trying to come up with the right combination of treatment that will solve the problem. Then when they come to the end of all that they know and have studied for, they, like us, have to just sit back and wait. And they do this everyday they come in to work, with many patients and many families, over and over. I've seen the tears in their eyes at times. You know they struggle to remain professional, and sometimes even distant, but the humanity of their hearts makes that a battle that is hard to fight. Pray for their strength, endurance, and wisdom. Pray for protection from attacks of the enemy that will distract them. Pray God will continue to mend and repair the broken peices of their hearts when they don't have the outcome that they want. Pray they will learn to trust in Him so they don't carry a burden that is not theirs to bear. And...pray they will have reason to celebrate when we are done here.
Tammy's numbers on oxygen output are at 45% and her oxygen level is staying pretty high. They have lowered PEEP to 9. So, all in all, she is still improving with baby steps. We love that she is moving in the right direction, but it would still be best if she could get off the ventilator. That is the best bet for her getting strong enough for a transplant. Pray with us that that will happen...soon. I am still waiting on the Lord, but I know the easiest thing would be the soonest.
Pray for our doctors as well. I know that they are doing everything they can, and they have been really good at checking in with us every day. We know that there have to be times that they wish they could skip visiting family members, especially when the news is not so marvelous. Yet, day in and out they face the facts head on, trying to come up with the right combination of treatment that will solve the problem. Then when they come to the end of all that they know and have studied for, they, like us, have to just sit back and wait. And they do this everyday they come in to work, with many patients and many families, over and over. I've seen the tears in their eyes at times. You know they struggle to remain professional, and sometimes even distant, but the humanity of their hearts makes that a battle that is hard to fight. Pray for their strength, endurance, and wisdom. Pray for protection from attacks of the enemy that will distract them. Pray God will continue to mend and repair the broken peices of their hearts when they don't have the outcome that they want. Pray they will learn to trust in Him so they don't carry a burden that is not theirs to bear. And...pray they will have reason to celebrate when we are done here.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sometimes tenacity is not a good thing.
It has been 10 days on the vent, and I know one girl who is more than ready to get off of the thing. She is mentally ready, but she is really not physically ready. So there is a battle between what is natural and what is machine. Pray they can make this as comfortable as possible with meds and adjustments. There is still talk of a possible transplant, but not at this time because they want to get her stronger. Pray for the rest of her body to remain healthy until the lungs can catch up.
I can only imagine how tired she must be because the healthy ICU waiting room crew is growing weary as well. Both Danny's family and Tracie's family are having to make adjustment. There is family that is traveling back and forth from the Hill Country, and Troy is driving in from a town south of Fort Worth. Between not wanting to leave and knowing sometimes you have to, it is really hard for our hearts and emotions. Pray especially for Danny, Tracie, and her husband. Troy and I have been pretty flexible, but I know that it is hard to have to be oneplace when your heart is really someplace else. Tammy is blessed to have such a great family.
You, dear reader, who are praying so fervently...you are precious to us. God has raised up an army of warriors to lift her up in prayer.
I can only imagine how tired she must be because the healthy ICU waiting room crew is growing weary as well. Both Danny's family and Tracie's family are having to make adjustment. There is family that is traveling back and forth from the Hill Country, and Troy is driving in from a town south of Fort Worth. Between not wanting to leave and knowing sometimes you have to, it is really hard for our hearts and emotions. Pray especially for Danny, Tracie, and her husband. Troy and I have been pretty flexible, but I know that it is hard to have to be oneplace when your heart is really someplace else. Tammy is blessed to have such a great family.
You, dear reader, who are praying so fervently...you are precious to us. God has raised up an army of warriors to lift her up in prayer.
Numbers still changing for the better
They have been able to lower her PEEP by one number, and she seems to be doing pretty OK with that. They have also lowered her IV pain med because they are giving her another one through an IV-push every few hours. And I will tell you this, she lets you know when it is time. She gets fidgety and her numbers go wacko for a few minutes. (Sorry, but "wacko" is the best word I can come up with to describe it.) It can seem a little alarming, but as soon as the pain med kicks in, she relaxes and her numbers go back up. However, just because we understand why it happens, that doesn't mean we like it. We just watch and wait and when the numbers look better, we leave.
I am not sure if I mentioned that we are having to tip-toe in and out of the room. When she hears us, she responds by fighting the machine like we mentioned before. So if you come to visit her, know that you can still see her, but if you go in the room, you need to be quiet and "no touchy." But do visit if you want! It sure does break up the monotony.
Oh and we have great personal news, we have a real bed to sleep on. They finally had an opening in the guest house down stairs, so we don't have to sleep in the waiting room anymore. It is amazing how much better it is to wake up in the morning without bruises from "sprung springs." AND a shower...what a blessing to start the day off with a shower. Please understand, we are not complaining about having to stay, it is just a great blessing to be a little more comfortable. Again, thank you to those who have helped us to be able to pay for the rooms. We are so humbled that you have shared your love for Tammy with us.
I am not sure if I mentioned that we are having to tip-toe in and out of the room. When she hears us, she responds by fighting the machine like we mentioned before. So if you come to visit her, know that you can still see her, but if you go in the room, you need to be quiet and "no touchy." But do visit if you want! It sure does break up the monotony.
Oh and we have great personal news, we have a real bed to sleep on. They finally had an opening in the guest house down stairs, so we don't have to sleep in the waiting room anymore. It is amazing how much better it is to wake up in the morning without bruises from "sprung springs." AND a shower...what a blessing to start the day off with a shower. Please understand, we are not complaining about having to stay, it is just a great blessing to be a little more comfortable. Again, thank you to those who have helped us to be able to pay for the rooms. We are so humbled that you have shared your love for Tammy with us.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
One step at a time...however small
It is evening now and our girl is still hangin' in. They haven't messed with her too much today. I did get a little relief from the nurses though. It is very probable that she has built up a tolerance to the pain meds which would have contributed to her restlessness this morning. So, that is why they upped her medication levels, not because she was in more pain than before, but because she has just gotten used to it. However, keep on lifting her up. They are going to leave her alone tonight, but tomorrow morning they are going to try again. We did have news for certain that her blood issues are clearing up and she is coming off more antibiotics. Her fever has also abated. So, like Wendy said, baby steps.
ON ANOTHER NOTE: If any of you have ever hung out in an ICU waiting room, you know that it is easy to collect a new family. Tonight I would like to ask you to pray for some of them.
One gentleman's wife has been progressing since she came in, but today had enough setbacks that she is back where they started two weeks ago. He has been really discouraged today, and he needs our prayers. Another gentleman's wife was released to rehab today, but she will have to come back soon for another surgery. She is also having problem speaking and understanding. Another young woman had an undiagnosed heart defect, she is doing really well and has just come in from her second heart surger. It could be something she could pass on to her children. Another woman's husband had a lung transpant 3 months ago today and is still here due to infections and other complications; she is worn out and wearing thin. Anyway, there are so many other stories, but these are the ones that have been on our hearts today. Pray for them when you remember Tammy. The ICU has only had one or two empty rooms each night, so the nurses, the families, and the doctors need our prayers.
ON ANOTHER NOTE: If any of you have ever hung out in an ICU waiting room, you know that it is easy to collect a new family. Tonight I would like to ask you to pray for some of them.
One gentleman's wife has been progressing since she came in, but today had enough setbacks that she is back where they started two weeks ago. He has been really discouraged today, and he needs our prayers. Another gentleman's wife was released to rehab today, but she will have to come back soon for another surgery. She is also having problem speaking and understanding. Another young woman had an undiagnosed heart defect, she is doing really well and has just come in from her second heart surger. It could be something she could pass on to her children. Another woman's husband had a lung transpant 3 months ago today and is still here due to infections and other complications; she is worn out and wearing thin. Anyway, there are so many other stories, but these are the ones that have been on our hearts today. Pray for them when you remember Tammy. The ICU has only had one or two empty rooms each night, so the nurses, the families, and the doctors need our prayers.
This is going to be tough!
Today ... keep those number goals in mind, but don't let them be your focus. Tammy needs all of our focus. They tried to switch the ventilator to an initialize mode so that when she started a breath it would finish the breath for her. They were hoping she could hold at the 45% oxygen output in that mode of assistance. It was too hard for her just yet, so they had to put it back on pressurized (fully breathing for her) until she could stablize.
Here's what I know, even though her pain meds and sedatives are really high, she was responding to me when she was in the initialize mode. She has only been that active when she is having a hard time, like when she shifts and the tube in her throat moves and makes her gag. So, when she began moving, I could tell she was just not thrilled about how she felt. I wish there were a way that she could make this transition without knowing she was making it, but she is going to have to begin working hard again. For a week she hasn't had to make the effort to breathe, so she is going to have to begin using those muscles so she can get back to breathing on her own.
Pray for no pain. Pray for super human strength. Pray for powerful intervention from God. Pray for dogged determination from our girl. Pray for great therapists who will have to be patient with her, but who will keep on trying. Pray for the Doctors to make the right decision. Pray for us, I am afraid this may be a hard few days for us as well. Pray for healing. Pray for peace for Tammy. Pray for courage. Pray for comfort as she struggles. Pray she will understand the battle and fight for the victory. Keep praying, "Daddy, I wanna see!" And while you're doin' all that praying, keep on believing that God can do all that we ask, and rest in His goodness. (I think I keep writing that line more for myself than for you guys.) I'll let you know as soon as I can how things are going and how God is answering.
Here's what I know, even though her pain meds and sedatives are really high, she was responding to me when she was in the initialize mode. She has only been that active when she is having a hard time, like when she shifts and the tube in her throat moves and makes her gag. So, when she began moving, I could tell she was just not thrilled about how she felt. I wish there were a way that she could make this transition without knowing she was making it, but she is going to have to begin working hard again. For a week she hasn't had to make the effort to breathe, so she is going to have to begin using those muscles so she can get back to breathing on her own.
Pray for no pain. Pray for super human strength. Pray for powerful intervention from God. Pray for dogged determination from our girl. Pray for great therapists who will have to be patient with her, but who will keep on trying. Pray for the Doctors to make the right decision. Pray for us, I am afraid this may be a hard few days for us as well. Pray for healing. Pray for peace for Tammy. Pray for courage. Pray for comfort as she struggles. Pray she will understand the battle and fight for the victory. Keep praying, "Daddy, I wanna see!" And while you're doin' all that praying, keep on believing that God can do all that we ask, and rest in His goodness. (I think I keep writing that line more for myself than for you guys.) I'll let you know as soon as I can how things are going and how God is answering.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Two more numbers
First of all, let me say she is still holding at the levels from yesterday. I am still dancing...and I actually had a moment to replace the sad wilty flowers that were in the waiting room with some that reflected our optimism a little more. I would say, "I bought them for Tammy, but she just can't have them." But that would be a lie. I bought them for me! I am a color junkie and they make me feel better!
Some of you have heard me said that I am waiting for one step at a time. We have had to reach one goal before we can go on to the next. That helps me a lot because it is hard to look at Tammy and see any change, so I rely on the numbers from the reports to determine how she is REALLY doing. So I have a few more numbers for you to pray toward.
First Number: Her blood gas level is a little low. The Dr. said that they wished it was higher. There is a little confusion on our part as to what the exact number we are praying for should be, but we don't want to wait until we understand before we ask you to pray.
Second Number: Her PEEP level needs to come down. PEEP is an acronym for word that are too long for me to try to learn, but what it refers to is the amount of volume inside the lungs when they are expanded and how much air is held at maximum and minimum levels. She had been inhaling for 3 counts and breathing out for 1, now they have adjusted the rythm where she is breathing in for 2 and out for 2. Later today they are going to try to move it to a 1-in, 3-out rythm, which is closer to our normal breath. Then, once she holds well at that level, they will begin to adjust the volume of each breath so that the pressure will be more like the volume of air we actually breathe in.
Lowering her PEEP seems to be a tougher task at this point, because her lungs are "pretty stiff." Stiffer lungs require more physical strength to expand and contract. So pray for her strength. Pray for an easy transition. Pray for the Tammy-brand of "determination" to kick in and take over. Pray for her spirit and emotions as she comes off the vent. Pray she can "see God's goodness in the land of the living" too! OH, and don't forget to watch Cash Cab! (I hear she loves that show!)
Some of you have heard me said that I am waiting for one step at a time. We have had to reach one goal before we can go on to the next. That helps me a lot because it is hard to look at Tammy and see any change, so I rely on the numbers from the reports to determine how she is REALLY doing. So I have a few more numbers for you to pray toward.
First Number: Her blood gas level is a little low. The Dr. said that they wished it was higher. There is a little confusion on our part as to what the exact number we are praying for should be, but we don't want to wait until we understand before we ask you to pray.
Second Number: Her PEEP level needs to come down. PEEP is an acronym for word that are too long for me to try to learn, but what it refers to is the amount of volume inside the lungs when they are expanded and how much air is held at maximum and minimum levels. She had been inhaling for 3 counts and breathing out for 1, now they have adjusted the rythm where she is breathing in for 2 and out for 2. Later today they are going to try to move it to a 1-in, 3-out rythm, which is closer to our normal breath. Then, once she holds well at that level, they will begin to adjust the volume of each breath so that the pressure will be more like the volume of air we actually breathe in.
Lowering her PEEP seems to be a tougher task at this point, because her lungs are "pretty stiff." Stiffer lungs require more physical strength to expand and contract. So pray for her strength. Pray for an easy transition. Pray for the Tammy-brand of "determination" to kick in and take over. Pray for her spirit and emotions as she comes off the vent. Pray she can "see God's goodness in the land of the living" too! OH, and don't forget to watch Cash Cab! (I hear she loves that show!)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Do YOU believe in miracles?
I have to tell you, it is a struggle for me sometimes. Not because I doubt God can, but because I wonder often if He will in this situation. It is as if my natural skepticism kicks in and I begin to concentrate on the perseverance through the battle than the possibility of victory. 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, "We live by faith, not by sight." For me, I worried that if I asked to "see," then I was relying on my sight, not on faith. But then...this morning...THIS morning (yes, that is significant) I read I John 1:1.
"That which is from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life." (NIV - italic emphasis mine)
God did not ask us to believe without evidence. Christ is the evidence! He could have come to save our souls and that would be enough, yet, God had Him do miraculous things so that their belief would not be because of the miracles, but that the miracles would reinforce and encourage their faith. They heard, they saw, they examined, and they touched. The early believers then took that evidence and shared it with other so they could believe, too! John was not afraid to say "I know because I saw it! I tell what I saw, so you can share in what I know."
When it comes to my relationship with Christ, I have always been firm in this principle. I know my belief is in the One God because of what I know I have been given that I didn't have before. I know peace in the midst of chaos. I have confidence that death is not a thing to fear because of what my Savior has done for me. Tammy shares in that same confidence (remember Ps 27?) and that is the only foundation of any peace that can be found when staring at a young woman fighting for every breath. BUT, when it comes to asking for a miracle - a miracle that confounds the scientific principles that He created. When it comes to asking Him to break the parameters that He sat into place at creation ... I waver.
But today I found myself praying like the little girl who is at the store begging her father, "Please Daddy, just for me!" or the little one in the crowd at a parade who tugs on her dad's hand and says, "I wanna see. I wanna see." Because, my friends, I really, really want to see a miracle in Tammy's life. I want to watch incredulous faces when great things happen. I want to see hope restored when we were pretty certain we would be using this blog for other purposes only 5 days ago. I know many of you, if not all of you, would like the same thing. So my question to you is ... do you believe?
Well, let me share with you what I know has happened so that, like the people John was writing to, you can join me where I am right now! All last week Tammy's oxygen output from the machine was at 100% oxygen, and she was struggling to keep the oxygen saturation in her blood at an acceptable level. For a few days they had her down to 75% output from the ventilator. Today, at 5:00 am it was at 70%. By noon, 60%. By 5:00, 50%. My friend, that is 10% away from normal, and if she maintains tonight, they are going to start lowering her dependence on the machine! On THIS day, the day I asked, "Dear God, please show me." He did!
Though I am not saying we are home free or even that she will be off the vent. by Friday, I can with confidence say that God has shown me that He just may have stuff to show us yet! He is not bound by our rules. His understanding of the situation is not ours, and only He, despite our best guesses, knows the outcome. We still only wants what His best is for her, so keep confidence in His goodness and we keep on waiting for Him! But today... I dance a little!
"That which is from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life." (NIV - italic emphasis mine)
God did not ask us to believe without evidence. Christ is the evidence! He could have come to save our souls and that would be enough, yet, God had Him do miraculous things so that their belief would not be because of the miracles, but that the miracles would reinforce and encourage their faith. They heard, they saw, they examined, and they touched. The early believers then took that evidence and shared it with other so they could believe, too! John was not afraid to say "I know because I saw it! I tell what I saw, so you can share in what I know."
When it comes to my relationship with Christ, I have always been firm in this principle. I know my belief is in the One God because of what I know I have been given that I didn't have before. I know peace in the midst of chaos. I have confidence that death is not a thing to fear because of what my Savior has done for me. Tammy shares in that same confidence (remember Ps 27?) and that is the only foundation of any peace that can be found when staring at a young woman fighting for every breath. BUT, when it comes to asking for a miracle - a miracle that confounds the scientific principles that He created. When it comes to asking Him to break the parameters that He sat into place at creation ... I waver.
But today I found myself praying like the little girl who is at the store begging her father, "Please Daddy, just for me!" or the little one in the crowd at a parade who tugs on her dad's hand and says, "I wanna see. I wanna see." Because, my friends, I really, really want to see a miracle in Tammy's life. I want to watch incredulous faces when great things happen. I want to see hope restored when we were pretty certain we would be using this blog for other purposes only 5 days ago. I know many of you, if not all of you, would like the same thing. So my question to you is ... do you believe?
Well, let me share with you what I know has happened so that, like the people John was writing to, you can join me where I am right now! All last week Tammy's oxygen output from the machine was at 100% oxygen, and she was struggling to keep the oxygen saturation in her blood at an acceptable level. For a few days they had her down to 75% output from the ventilator. Today, at 5:00 am it was at 70%. By noon, 60%. By 5:00, 50%. My friend, that is 10% away from normal, and if she maintains tonight, they are going to start lowering her dependence on the machine! On THIS day, the day I asked, "Dear God, please show me." He did!
Though I am not saying we are home free or even that she will be off the vent. by Friday, I can with confidence say that God has shown me that He just may have stuff to show us yet! He is not bound by our rules. His understanding of the situation is not ours, and only He, despite our best guesses, knows the outcome. We still only wants what His best is for her, so keep confidence in His goodness and we keep on waiting for Him! But today... I dance a little!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Holding Her Own
Thank you, Wendy, for doing me such a great favor. I apologise. Danny is going to stop by in the mornings so that hopefully I will be able to update early. However, if you don't see a post, don't assume that it is bad news. It just means we are computer poor in the D. Barnes household!
She is the same as this morning, and that is a great thing. That means the lower oxygen level is working well for her, so we are cautiously optimistic. The doctor even said she was doing much better than he thought she would. However, that is not saying much, since she was so sick in the first place. But like Wendy said, any step in the right direction is a step worth noting.
Please continue to pray. I do not consider it a coincidence that her best day in weeks was on a Sunday while churches all over the city and country were praying for her. There have been prayer vigils and people who have traveled all the way to Dallas just to pray with us and to entreat God on behalf of Tammy. There is no higher source of healing and medicine than the one who knit us together in our mother's womb. He has truly been good and Tammy has truly been strong. Anyone know a more powerful combo?
She is the same as this morning, and that is a great thing. That means the lower oxygen level is working well for her, so we are cautiously optimistic. The doctor even said she was doing much better than he thought she would. However, that is not saying much, since she was so sick in the first place. But like Wendy said, any step in the right direction is a step worth noting.
Please continue to pray. I do not consider it a coincidence that her best day in weeks was on a Sunday while churches all over the city and country were praying for her. There have been prayer vigils and people who have traveled all the way to Dallas just to pray with us and to entreat God on behalf of Tammy. There is no higher source of healing and medicine than the one who knit us together in our mother's womb. He has truly been good and Tammy has truly been strong. Anyone know a more powerful combo?
Baby Steps....
Hello everyone, it's Wendy. Charlotte is up at the hospital and doesn't have internet access so I am going to try to put an update on here for everyone.
Tammy's oxygen output from the machine has been lowered a bit, her blood O2 is staying in the mid 90's which is good and her blood work has improved some. Her temperature was down last night but it is back up again this morning so they are still giving her medicine for that. The doctors are still keeping a close watch on a couple of her fingertips that she had some circulation issues with thanks to the arterial IV.
All things considered, this is good news. It's a baby step but it's a baby step in the right direction. Right now all we can do is pray for healing for Tammy and wisdom for the doctors to be able to treat her and make her better. Tammy has a strong spirit and she is a fighter. She won't give up and neither should we.
Tammy's oxygen output from the machine has been lowered a bit, her blood O2 is staying in the mid 90's which is good and her blood work has improved some. Her temperature was down last night but it is back up again this morning so they are still giving her medicine for that. The doctors are still keeping a close watch on a couple of her fingertips that she had some circulation issues with thanks to the arterial IV.
All things considered, this is good news. It's a baby step but it's a baby step in the right direction. Right now all we can do is pray for healing for Tammy and wisdom for the doctors to be able to treat her and make her better. Tammy has a strong spirit and she is a fighter. She won't give up and neither should we.
Thanks to everyone for thier prayers. Please keep it up.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Well...
I wish I could say that things are better, but there really isn't much to say. She is at the same place that she was yesterday.
Her hand isn't looking marvelous. The circulation was poor for quite a while and we are hoping that we can see some improvement today, but the outlook for that isn't so great. We are all of the concensus that if ... IF ... the loss of a fingertip is necessary, there are millions who live without a finger tip or two, so...breathe or have a finger tip. To us, no contest! She may smack us for that, but I can't wait for the lecture!
Her fever is still high, but they are doing everything they can to try to keep it down. It is amazing how many antibiotics that one person can consume!
She still is kept asleep, so we don't know if she hears us when we yack at her, but we keep on talking anyway. We catch her up on who comes by and we read her the email and the cards that we get. We tell neice and nephew stories ... and a few Dad (Troy) stories too! We are so proud of her and how hard she is hangin' on! So, keep hanging in with us and if there is anything funny going on, let us know. We will be sure to tell her! Or you can come by and tell her yourself! You, any of you, are welcome to come by and visit. We have to scrub up and put on masks and stuff, but don't let that stop you.
Thank you for your prayers.
Her hand isn't looking marvelous. The circulation was poor for quite a while and we are hoping that we can see some improvement today, but the outlook for that isn't so great. We are all of the concensus that if ... IF ... the loss of a fingertip is necessary, there are millions who live without a finger tip or two, so...breathe or have a finger tip. To us, no contest! She may smack us for that, but I can't wait for the lecture!
Her fever is still high, but they are doing everything they can to try to keep it down. It is amazing how many antibiotics that one person can consume!
She still is kept asleep, so we don't know if she hears us when we yack at her, but we keep on talking anyway. We catch her up on who comes by and we read her the email and the cards that we get. We tell neice and nephew stories ... and a few Dad (Troy) stories too! We are so proud of her and how hard she is hangin' on! So, keep hanging in with us and if there is anything funny going on, let us know. We will be sure to tell her! Or you can come by and tell her yourself! You, any of you, are welcome to come by and visit. We have to scrub up and put on masks and stuff, but don't let that stop you.
Thank you for your prayers.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Saturday afternoon
Well, pretty much everything is the same. She is holding still on her Oxygen levels and on the machine levels. She is improving a little on the blood clotting issues. The disorder is called DIC (do not ask me for what that stands for, too much for my feeble brain to retain!)
She had a few problems with circulation in her hand from the arterial IV, but it seems to be doing better. They are watching it carefully to make sure that the blood flow returns to the right levels. Pray that it resolves so that there isn't any reason to add yet another medication to the mix.
On behalf of the family, I also have to say that the Euless Police, Fire, and Paramedics Departments, from the Cheifs to the 911 operators, have to be the most generous and amazing group of people that Tammy could possibly ever have worked with. They have said many times that Tammy is family to them, but they have adopted us as well. They have brought food to my children and to all of us at the hospital, as well as helping us off-set the hidden costs of staying at the hospital to take care of someone. There is not one of us who is not humbled by there love and their generosity and their prayers. While we all have had friends who have helped us and encouraged us, we wanted to extend a special thank you to the amazing friends who serve the City of Euless
She had a few problems with circulation in her hand from the arterial IV, but it seems to be doing better. They are watching it carefully to make sure that the blood flow returns to the right levels. Pray that it resolves so that there isn't any reason to add yet another medication to the mix.
On behalf of the family, I also have to say that the Euless Police, Fire, and Paramedics Departments, from the Cheifs to the 911 operators, have to be the most generous and amazing group of people that Tammy could possibly ever have worked with. They have said many times that Tammy is family to them, but they have adopted us as well. They have brought food to my children and to all of us at the hospital, as well as helping us off-set the hidden costs of staying at the hospital to take care of someone. There is not one of us who is not humbled by there love and their generosity and their prayers. While we all have had friends who have helped us and encouraged us, we wanted to extend a special thank you to the amazing friends who serve the City of Euless
Friday, February 13, 2009
Psalm 27:13-14
"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
My feelings and my emotions are too near the surface for me to delve into right now, however, I do want to share with you what I know that I know.
We will see the "goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." It may not be our good. But His good, His very best for Tammy, will be the end result. All we can to is wait and trust in the Lord's love for her and His plan. He alone controls the outcome. So we wait.
Because we know He knows what has to take place for her to live and He knows whether or not she will.
Because He is the maker of miracles and the Maker of Tammy as well.
Because He is cabable of anything and He is wise...and loving...and just...and holy...and righteous...and merciful...
So. I choose to wait for Him.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
My feelings and my emotions are too near the surface for me to delve into right now, however, I do want to share with you what I know that I know.
We will see the "goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." It may not be our good. But His good, His very best for Tammy, will be the end result. All we can to is wait and trust in the Lord's love for her and His plan. He alone controls the outcome. So we wait.
Because we know He knows what has to take place for her to live and He knows whether or not she will.
Because He is the maker of miracles and the Maker of Tammy as well.
Because He is cabable of anything and He is wise...and loving...and just...and holy...and righteous...and merciful...
So. I choose to wait for Him.
Feb 13, 2009 No transplant yet...
We met with the Doctor this afternoon. She is not viable for a transplant at this time. There are several reasons for this.
First of all, she was on a rejection med that they were hoping to be able to kick her out of the chronic rejection that she was in the midst of. However, one of the side affects of the medication was that it prohibits healing. The concern is that she will not be able to heal from surgery.
The other concern is that she has blood issues that are preventing her blood from clotting the way that it should, so for obvious reasons, surgery would be out of the option.
Our worries are that the longer she is on the ventilator, the less likely she would be able to breathe on her own after a transplant. If she remains on the vent for 3 weeks, she will not be able to receive a transplant.
Our best bet is that she will be able to get off the ventilator on her own and that the blood issue will clear up. However, her lungs are very stiff, so it is no small feat that we are asking her to accomplish. But, she is nothing if not tenacious. And you don't dare tell her what she can't do! So we will watch her and will be letting you know the direction she is progressing.
First of all, she was on a rejection med that they were hoping to be able to kick her out of the chronic rejection that she was in the midst of. However, one of the side affects of the medication was that it prohibits healing. The concern is that she will not be able to heal from surgery.
The other concern is that she has blood issues that are preventing her blood from clotting the way that it should, so for obvious reasons, surgery would be out of the option.
Our worries are that the longer she is on the ventilator, the less likely she would be able to breathe on her own after a transplant. If she remains on the vent for 3 weeks, she will not be able to receive a transplant.
Our best bet is that she will be able to get off the ventilator on her own and that the blood issue will clear up. However, her lungs are very stiff, so it is no small feat that we are asking her to accomplish. But, she is nothing if not tenacious. And you don't dare tell her what she can't do! So we will watch her and will be letting you know the direction she is progressing.
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