Raring to Go

November is already upon us, so I thought I would start this Thanksgiving season off with some of the great things that we are thankful for in the Barnes' household.

Tammy is doing so much better.  The last stay in the hospital did reveal that the nodules in her lungs was because of food that had aspirated into her lungs resulting in pneumonia.  So, she just has to be more careful with how much she eats before she goes to sleep.  Such a little thing to prevent such a scary thing! So for that we are thankful.

Also, that pneumonia did not trigger any additional rejection.  That is a praise as well. It has been 5 months without any significant rejection to this set of lungs.  We celebrate that as well.

Stamina is the next thing we are working on. She was sent home with oxygen for when she was doing more strenuous activities like climbing stairs and walking for a long distance.  But her speed is picking up and she is walking on the treadmill, shopping, and going somewhere every day.  In other words, she is really getting back to normal.  God is so good.

After stamina, our goal is work.  She is going stir crazy around here and is ready to be productive again.  Pray that soon, very soon, she can get back to work.  So... is this a thankful thing? You bet it is! I love that she is ready to go back to work, to make a difference, and to be with those people who have made such a difference in her life.  So, yes, very thankful.

We are thankful that God has kept His promises. He promised me over 20 months ago that I would certainly see "the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."  I have clung to those verses in Psalm 27 during the thick and thin, the optimistic seasons and the uncomfortable seasons.  And He, who is faithful always, has kept His word to us.  I believe He is going to continue to restore her health. I believe He is so not finished with Tammy's Story.  I believe He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.

And I am thankful.

Mystery solved?

The test results are back.  They think that the source of the bacteria in Tammy's lungs is caused by aspirating food into her lungs.  She has had reflux issues in the past, but not recently. They are going to put her on a feeding tube for a few days just to monitor things and keep the nutrition flowing into her body.

Good news! Chest tube is out, so hopefully pain will lessen.

I am typing short today so that I can go to my son's band contest.  I would ask you to pray that the antibiotics will work over the next few days, and that God will work a miracle to clear them up completely.  Also, pray that the doctors will figure out what is causing the problem in the first place.  I told her it was probably too much chips and hot sauce from Mexican Inn.  We both tend to over indulge when we go there, and we may actually have been there long enough ago to have caused the problem. Just joking... however, it would be great if the answer was only, "Tap out earlier, young lady."

Thank you for your support and prayers.  We feel it and need it.  God has provided in some amazing ways, and we are humbled by His provision.  We are confident He is not finished with the work He has began, so we press on.

Nothing yet

Well, I guess that mid morning may have turned into late afternoon or maybe early Friday.  I am tempted to pout a little bit, but that probably doesn't honor God like I want to, so I will change my attitude as I change my words to reflect a better attitude.  My pastor says sometimes you have to act yourself into a change of heart.  He's a pretty wise man, so, here I go.

Tammy did really well in the surgery.  Her incision is a little bigger than planned, but other than that, everything was really pretty simple.  There was a nodule visible on the exterior of the lung, so there was no need to dig around. It was the best possible place for it to be to minimize surgery complications.  She is doing really well, and even though she is on oxygen (it is hard to take a deep breath), she is able to chat and joke.  She was in ICU last night, just for precautionary measures, but this morning they moved her to a regular room.

Now, we wait.

We are blessed and honored to have so many people who care for us enough to pray for us.  God has used you to encourage us in so many ways.  I praise His name when I think of all of you who get on your knees on our behalf.  May God pour his blessings on you as you have upon us.

Nodules? Really? And that is...?

Nodules is a new word for us. About a month ago, they mentioned that the CT scan showed "nodules" in the lung.  Now, we have heard words like "fluid" and "inflammation" before, but not nodules.  Well, last week we found out the difference.  Fluid looks like a cloud. Inflammation looks like the roots of a tree. Not to alarm anyone, but to get you inside our mindset, nodules look a little like "aliens inside me." We laughed a nervous laugh when we saw them.

Tammy has 3 of them. One started out small, but has grown a crazy amount over the last 6 weeks. The others are in various stages of size.  She has had this crazy fever, which has had us confused because it comes and goes, and she has been a little tired, but not exhausted.  So, when we saw the pictures of the scan, we understood a little better.   The doctor seems to think that it is an infection, but in order to be certain, they are going to do an open lung biopsy tomorrow.  That is where they go from the outside of the body, through the ribs, to get a sample of the tissue.  This seems the best option because the nodule began near the outside edges of her lungs.

I can imagine that Tammy is not real crazy about yet another scar or two, but we both agree that knowing is better than not knowing, especially since it is getting bigger. To us, bigger equals worse.

The doctors are confident that if it is infection, once they know what kinds of bacteria is growing, they can "knock it out."  So, we are praying.

I want each of you to know that we have not lost our resolve nor our conviction that Tammy is going to keep getting better.  There has been so much going on that doesn't have to do with her health, much of which I am not at liberty to share. But we are still convinced that God works all things for good for those who are called according to His purpose.  Her strength does not flow from within her. It flows through her from the real source, Jesus Christ.  She has always had great determination, but this is a supernatural thing.  This is a God thing.  I encourage you to seek that same power for yourself by getting to know Him better.  He is truly amazing, truly faithful, and truly true.

Summer Sizzle brings Summer Fizzle

I guess you can say it is a bit of an answered prayer, but I need to be careful what I pray. Tammy has been chomping at the bit to get out and about the last month.  However, the heat is probably the best deterrent that we have come up with so far.  At least, we hope it is the heat.

You see, Tammy had an unscheduled bronchoscopy last week.  The x-ray shows some small pockets of fluid in the lower portion of her right lung. To check things out, they did the bronch and ran some tests.  We still don't have all of the results back from that yet. They did determine that she does have a mild rejection.  At first, we couldn't tell physically, but her spirometry readings have slowly been going down. She is also wearing out a little easier and is just tired in general.  We aren't alarmed, but I think that is because we are refusing to be alarmed.  They gave her another I.V. treatment of steroids this weekend in hopes of stopping the rejection.  So, we are trusting that God will begin to turn things around for her.  It is much more fun watching lung function numbers go up than it is to watch them go down.  So please join with us in prayer.

Pray that the fluid will go away.  That the rejection will cease.  That the doctors will be amazed and give honor to God. That her lung function numbers will improve. That energy will return.  That sleep will restore her.  That the heat will be mild.  That we will remember to dance for joy in the shower of the blessings God has already given us.

New Day! New Look! New Tammy!

It has almost been a month.  I know that for certain because I am sitting in the waiting room while Tammy gets her "one month" bronchoscopy.  After all, there is a post transplant schedule that we must all strictly adhere to, you know. Plus, the doctors are being incredibly cautious in their dealings with Tammy because this is her second and last chance for lungs.  I happen to like the extra caution on her behalf, though it probably (almost definitely) drives her crazy!  Since I have a few hours on my hands, in honor of her almost one month anniversary, I have changed the look of the blog.  When I saw the dandelions, I was reminded when I was a little girl. I could never remember all the wishes I wished before I would blow the seeds into the air (and all over the yard) just knowing that those wishes would certainly one day come true.  Well, I am older, and God, by His grace, has taught me the differences between wishes and prayers. Where my faith was once one of dandelion fluff and scattered winds, now it is rooted and purposeful in the love and grace of a merciful God, who hears and loves and answers.

For those of you who know Tammy well, she is more "herself" than she has been since this all started.  She is up and down all the time, even to the point of keeping the laundry caught up.  It is pretty funny. Since she can't lift the laundry basket, she trots from the dryer to the couch and back again carrying a few items at a time.  We should probably get her a pedometer to see how many miles it takes to get a family's laundry done.  Like she says, "It sure ain't fast, but I get the job done!"

Her stamina and energy are improving as well.  Last week she walked 0.85 miles in 30 minutes! When she goes to therapy (3x a week), she is doing a combination of treadmill, bicycle, and leg presses. Believe it or not, she even has the energy to walk to the car when she is done!  We haven't had to use the walker or the wheelchair since she came home.  She is also planning "stops" for us to do "one day."  You know it goes something like this, "One day we need to stop by the police station to see the Chief and everyone." Or, "One day we need to go that new restaurant." As a matter of fact, I need you to pray that I get a job so that I can go visit all of those "one day" restaurants! She has enough of them picked out that we could eat at a new place everyday for the next few months.  In short, her get-up-and-go, that got up and went, was on a round trip and has returned with a vengeance to make up for lost time.

When you look at our schedule, it sometimes looks like we are riding around on one of those dandelion seeds that I mentioned earlier. And sometimes it feels like it, too, but it is a ride worth taking, and we are fully confident in the One in charge of directing the breeze.  I cannot tell you the joy that has been brought into our lives from knowing that the prayers of saints surround us every step we take.  I thank God every day for your faithfulness, your love, and your encouragement.

TAMMY UNLEASHED!!! (photos at end of post)

We absolutely cannot stop grinning in the Barnes' household. It is absolutely astonishing to look across the room and see Tammy breathing on her own.  She hops up and down off the couch, "just because she can."  She was up and down so much yesterday that she was too tired last night to try the stairs to take a shower. So today, she is gonna take a nap.

It is as if a sense of freedom has enveloped her spirit and her mind, and it can't help bubbling out as she does things for herself.  I think I take too much for granted.  I watch her celebrate being able to clean off her shelves, and I am convicted of all the jobs I am putting off around the house.  I see her satisfaction because she has been able to walk all the way from the parking lot, across the lobby of the professional center, and up the elevator to her clinic appointment.  Then, I am convicted that I need to be more active.  Last night she threw her cannulas and oxygen tubing in the trash can.  As we all clapped and celebrated, I thought of some of the things that I have in my life that are keeping me "leashed."  So, yet again, I am learning about me by looking at Tammy.

I guess that is how God created us.  The Bible talks of "iron sharpening iron."  As we interact with, live with, and love others, we see our real selves better.  Or, let me say, we should see our selves better.  Life happens so quickly that I look at life, but I forget to "see" truly what is before me.  In the movie "Avatar," the characters greet each other with the phrase, "I see you" meaning more than the outsides of the person, but the depth of the person they are greeting.  It implies a deep and intimate knowledge of the other person.  What I observed as the main male character progressed through the story, he had to learn to "see" himself before he could really connect to the others.  He had to quit pretending, to evaluate what was important, and to make a choice.

Tammy's limitations over the last year have been beyond her control.  Right now, she is discovering what the limitations of her new life will be and how far she will be able to move forward.  And she rejoices at every small thing. But we learned last year when we were watching numbers as she laid in her bed in ICU that there are no "small things" when we are talking about progress with our health.  I challenge you to look at your life.  Are you "leashed"?  Do you feel as if you can only get so far with a problem, only to find yourself abruptly stopped?  Is there something you can do (you probably already know what it is) to unhook the leash and step forward?  I urge you to search the Bible, see what God has to say about it, then follow His instructions.  Sometimes coming unleashed means choosing to hang on and fight (like marriage or Tammy hanging on to her health) and sometimes it is letting go (like grief or addiction).  I know that God promises when we seek Him, we will find Him. I also know from experience the best way to interpret what you are seeing about yourself through others is to look into the mirror of scripture.  Let me know how it goes.  Tammy and the whole family would love to hear what God is doing in your life as we share ours with you.

Here are the first pics of Tammy and Cydney sharing their first day after Graduation Day.  I hope they make you grin too!