While I adjust my rhythm. I am no longer staying nights at the hospital, so I am having to find times to blog and give my kiddos some long needed attention, plus all the other stuff that goes along with being at home. I mean, now I have to make my own bed, wash and fold my own towels, and if I need a soda, I am going to have to squeeze in time to go to the grocery store. Granted life will be a lot less expensive, but it will definitely be busier. But it is worth it.
Tammy is also adjusting to the chest tubes. She did sit in the recliner again yesterday, but she was a little nauseous. I think that is because of the pain meds, plus they changed the formulation of her liquid diet. We are trying to get enough nutrition into her to allow her to get stronger and heal, but her stomach is having a hard time adjusting to the volume of food she needs. Plus, when she moves, the tubes hurt. She's not quite sure how to explain it, but as she said, "It's not fun."
She did get a visit from her supervisors at the EPD. I think it made her day to see them. They came to deliver a card and some good news, but . . . that is all I am going to tell you about the news. For many of you, it is not a secret, for those of you who don't . . . you'll have to check back next weekend to find out. Yes, that is a shameless teaser, but I want to be able to tell the whole story, and it won't be finished until next week, so . . . there you go!
Nighttime is going pretty well for her as well. Of course, she has been on pain meds that have her sleeping like a rock on a sunny hillside. She has encouraged us both nights to go home. I am so thankful to God that He has brought us to this place. Every step toward getting closer to another transplant is a step prepared by God. Every trip home is a trip prepared by Him. Dare we even allow our selves to explore that thought further? Yes, sometimes the road seems tragic. (There has been a lot of that in the ICU this last few weeks.) Sometimes, it seems we are hanging on the side of a cliff, nevermind considering a road. But none of it is a surprise for Him. So, ask Him why He has you where you are, right at this time, for what purpose. The answers do not always come easy. In some situations, it never comes easy. You may need to sit alone, rocking, crying, wailing, begging for a hint of a clue. But let me encourage you, make sure you don't go there alone. Take God and His Word with you. Read the book of James or begin going through the Psalms, one at a time. Read until He gives you a glimpse of His plan or some comfort for you to cling to. Of one thing I am certain. If you look for Him, if you long for Him, if you are willing to search Him out . . . you will find Him. That is my experience, but that is not my promise. It's His.
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