This is going to be tough!

Today ... keep those number goals in mind, but don't let them be your focus. Tammy needs all of our focus. They tried to switch the ventilator to an initialize mode so that when she started a breath it would finish the breath for her. They were hoping she could hold at the 45% oxygen output in that mode of assistance. It was too hard for her just yet, so they had to put it back on pressurized (fully breathing for her) until she could stablize.

Here's what I know, even though her pain meds and sedatives are really high, she was responding to me when she was in the initialize mode. She has only been that active when she is having a hard time, like when she shifts and the tube in her throat moves and makes her gag. So, when she began moving, I could tell she was just not thrilled about how she felt. I wish there were a way that she could make this transition without knowing she was making it, but she is going to have to begin working hard again. For a week she hasn't had to make the effort to breathe, so she is going to have to begin using those muscles so she can get back to breathing on her own.

Pray for no pain. Pray for super human strength. Pray for powerful intervention from God. Pray for dogged determination from our girl. Pray for great therapists who will have to be patient with her, but who will keep on trying. Pray for the Doctors to make the right decision. Pray for us, I am afraid this may be a hard few days for us as well. Pray for healing. Pray for peace for Tammy. Pray for courage. Pray for comfort as she struggles. Pray she will understand the battle and fight for the victory. Keep praying, "Daddy, I wanna see!" And while you're doin' all that praying, keep on believing that God can do all that we ask, and rest in His goodness. (I think I keep writing that line more for myself than for you guys.) I'll let you know as soon as I can how things are going and how God is answering.